Being Catholic and Gay Shouldn’t be Weird

I discovered a new blog today called Catholic, Gay, and Feeling Fine, Thanks by Steve Gershom. I highly recommend you check it out. Here’s an example of a man who’s gay, but he’s a practicing Catholic (gasp), a conservative (Gasp) and celibate (Gasp?!); in my experience the liberal left and pro-gay marriage crowd abhor people like Steve, either blasting them with hate speech for being a traitor to the cause or dousing them with floods of pity. Steve gives one example of such an encounter here:

I like arguing. The more I’m surrounded by liberals, the more conservative I start talking. The converse is also true. I don’t, for example, have any great love for the Novus Ordo Mass in particular, but surround me with traddies and you’d think I came straight from Steubenville.1

This isn’t a great character trait. I’d like to think it’s because I’m perfectly balanced on every issue, but it’s probably just because I want to look brave and outspoken. Or something. There is something about parties in particular that makes me want to say exactly the wrong thing, just because everyone is trying so hard to do the opposite.

This is especially true at liberal parties, where so many points of view are verboten. I remember a party last Hallowe’en where I met an Oberlin alumna dressed as Dorothy. The only thing I knew about Oberlin was something about rainbow couches and gender studies, so I proffered the diplomatic remark (I had had a few beers, certainly) that Oberlin was destroying western civilization.

For some reason this struck her as offensive, but she also took it in the spirit in which it was offered — namely, a kind of beery sparring. So we sparred, beerily, for a while. Eventually, ineluctably, we came to the twin topics of abortion and homosexuality.2 Turned out she was bisexual, so my views there didn’t give me any points in her book either. I actually think I kept my cool pretty well all through being called a closed-minded, sheeplike bigot.

At some point in the discussion I thought it would be a good idea to play my trump card: as in, You think I oppose gay marriage because I’m insensitive to gay people, Well, what would you say if I WAS ONE?

Well, it wasn’t a great idea. It did defuse the situation a bit. She seemed to stop regarding me as some kind of evil authoritarian swine and and start pitying me for a medievalist self-flagellator. Sigh. We got friendlier after that, but I wasn’t able to make her understand that my life is not one of constant, tortured internal conflict. Some people imagine that, if you’re not having sex at LEAST once a week, you must be in TERRIBLE pain (whether spiritual or just pelvic), and must have to supplement yourself with various, hm, practices.3

Anyway. We parted amicably enough, and saw each other once or twice more. I stopped hanging out with her when, after inviting me and her gay friend C. out to a movie, she admitted that she had been trying to play matchmaker. To rescue me from the prison of my celibacy. This, after hearing that I would regard a homosexual relationship as a betrayal of the things I believed in most deeply.

Sheesh. Thanks, Dorothy. Dude wasn’t my type anyway.4

I’d draw a point from all this, but I have to go get ready for Mass.

“A homosexual relationship as a betrayal of the things I believed in most deeply.” Indeed, whether gay or straight we all struggle with temptations to be unchaste, but the rewards of the truth and fullness of the church dwarf any transient satisfaction that may come with giving in to our impulses. So, liberals, don’t pity Steve or others like him. Instead, ask yourself how men and women like him can be so at home in a place designated their worst enemy by the left? Perhaps, there’s reasons that the Catholic Church teaches the things that it does that have nothing to do with homophobia. Maybe, from the church’s perspective, this was never about straights vs. gays at all, but about all members of humanity discovering and experiencing the love of Christ.

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One thought on “Being Catholic and Gay Shouldn’t be Weird

  1. Pingback: 4 Ways The Gay Marriage Debate Has Been Rigged « Democrazy

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